Here's this month's Femme Writing Prompt! These are open to being answered by anyone. Feel free to leave your answer in the comments, on your own blog, and/or submit it to be a guest post. They will be posted at the beginning of each month and all Femme Galaxy authors and readers are highly encouraged to respond.
This month's prompt:
What is your experience (or lack thereof) with femme invisibility? What is one thing each of us can do to help end this phenomenon?
Here's this month's Femme Writing Prompt! These are open to being answered by anyone. Feel free to leave your answer in the comments, on your own blog, and/or submit it to be a guest post. They will be posted at the beginning of each month and all Femme Galaxy authors and readers are highly encouraged to respond.
This month's prompt:
Tomorrow is International Femme Appreciation Day! What do you appreciate about femme/femmes/femmeininity? If you identify as femme, how would you like to be appreciated? If you don't identify as femme, how would you like to show your appreciation to femmes? What can we all do to show appreciation to people of other genders as well?
While searching myself for a name for my new column on Femme Galaxy I came across this fabulous series of photographs by Zerbetron called Beauty Ritual 2010, a 365 photo project with a twist. She took the time to not only photograph herself daily, but to then record the amount of time that it took her to apply her makeup and fix her hair every day. The times range from zero minutes to over two hours depending on the day. She says:
This process, most women refer to as a "beauty ritual". An activity that women have become to adapt to. Will knowing how much of my life I spend on a superficial aspect change how I view make up and the application? We'll find out!
I was struck by the name of per project. I have never worn makeup on a regular basis before the last few months, and even now it is rare for me to put anything on my face--I prefer to stick to my eyes and lips if anywhere--so I have never used the term beauty ritual before. Because it fits so well with what I'm interested in conveying I'm happily and blatantly taking the term and using it for this column. It fits so well with what I want to talk about while also being fairly broad so that I could talk about just about anything that falls under the "beauty" category, which is fairly broad in my world. Ritual also has a very special place in my life, and it holds extra meaning for me because of that as well.
After coming across this project of hers I have also been thinking a lot about my own beauty rituals. I have products I use on a regular basis, accessories I put on, clothes I wear, activities I engage in, all of which change depending on the day and my current gender presentation, and all of which could be considered beauty aids. I love this concept for a project, and am tempted to take on something similar myself, though mine would also be focused on my genderqueer presentation and how it changes depending on the day. For a long time I've thought that a 365 photo project would be a good idea, but they also seem like a lot of work once I decide to do them.
According to dictionary.com "beauty" is defined as "the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest)." One of the definitions for ritual is "any practice or pattern of behavior regularly performed in a set manner," though it also can have a religious or spiritual aspect as well. Combining these creates my understanding of what a "beauty ritual" is: any repeated practice or pattern of behavior that exhibits, enhances, or creates beauty.
By using such a broad definition, and because beauty is not a tangible thing but a feeling or sense, this could be such a wide variety of things, and that's exactly what I'm interested in exploring.
Did you know we have our own day? I didn't! I just saw this on Facebook and thought it should be shared with all the Femme Galaxy readers! On July 2nd I'll be up in Alaska visiting my family, but I'll be sure to celebrate in some fashion or another. If nothing else I will watch Ivan Coyote's amazing love letter to femmes and think about femmeininity. How will you spend International Femme Appreciation Day? What do you think about the concept?
Butch Femme Queergender celebration of Femmes!
Femmes do rock the world. The rest of us are just scrambling around trying to find a spot to stand up and be counted - to be sure they see us there.
"…Vying for her princess kerchief
"May I ride for you, m'Lady? May I ride for You, today?"To impress her, even if it's only in our heads... 'cause we're wired that way and can't help ourselves; and we know it, can't admit it half the time, have conquered kingdoms, started wars, learned to cook (maybe not so well), given up all days off & driven miles and kilometers just to fall for moments near her eyes...
…Because femmes have this amazing power to inspire, to comfort, to tease, to hook, to care for; to freeze us in our tracks with a single smile or a fleeting sidelong glance.... We protect our own protectors when we defend our femmes.
'Cause a femme can stop time with a tiny wave, or the lightest feather touch across your arm, or the slightest tease and tug upon your tie, or, or, or….all effortless yet all powerful… A femme can make your world go bright and fill with color. And I'm convinced they even control the weather - wait and see. It'll out. ...There's a reason we say "Mother Nature," after all.
And God help you if she winks when she's across the room...the eye contact alone can kill you on the spot - though you'll think you've gone to Heaven if she lingers in that moment...
And it's all over before you even know her name.
...The way she moves, the way she smells, the way she brushes her hair and works some unknown magic with her eyes and skin...
She can turn a tarnished armored heart to softened gold and promise every sin, without the slightest seep of labor or ever losing softness, strength or stature...
...The Fire in her soul, the hearth around which the universe turns"
Kate West
It's been a few months since the last Femme Writing Prompt, but they will be starting up again! These are open to being answered by anyone. Feel free to leave your answer in the comments, on your own blog, or submit it to be a guest post. They will be posted at the beginning of each month and all Femme Galaxy authors and readers are highly encouraged to respond.
This month's prompt:
What would you say to a newly-identified femme? Do you have advice, tips, tricks, or anything else you would like to share with them? Perhaps you have a story to tell or want to reminisce about when you were first femme-identified?
There is nothing wrong with your computer. Do not attempt to adjust the screen. We are controlling the transmission, and the transmission is change. If you are reading this in a feed reader hopefully very little has changed for you, in fact, you may be wondering what I'm even going on about. All may be revealed by clicking here. If you clicked on a link or bookmark expecting to find The Femme's Guide you have now found Femme Galaxy instead.
Why? A myriad of reasons.
I started Femme Galaxy (then The Femme's Guide) in 2008 with the intention of creating a group blog that is a "fun, enjoyable, educational, and sometimes snarky look at femmeininity and femme culture," and I don't think I entirely succeeded. Thanks mostly to the efforts of Sassafras, who recently left us, as well as the occasional musings of the rest of us, FG stayed afloat. I am definitely indebted to her for that. For a while I wasn't sure what my involvement could be in FG, I felt unsafe writing here and I was questioning my own femme identity as well as the time I had to commit to this project. Yet I could never let it go completely. Recently, however, I had an epiphany of sorts, a vision for how I could redesign the site and its mission to be more in line with what I wanted and still want to create. So now, very nearly three years after creating FG in the first place, I'm giving it a makeover.
The reason for the new title is mostly to get away from the advice-oriented sounding of The Femme's Guide, as if we have something to tell you about femme that you don't already know. Femme Galaxy, however, ties in with the idea of illustrating gender as a universe, and that is my preferred model due to its spaciousness and opportunity. Viewing various genders as galaxies also emphasizes spaciousness and the vast difference that exists within genders as well as between genders. I like this.
I still want this project to be about femmeininity, and to be fun, enjoyable, and educational, but the focus has changed a little bit along with the title. The best way to get a view of femmeininity is through the lives of those who present it, and so the focus is now more on individuals sharing their stories, rather than on advice, musings, and reviews as it started out being. All posts related to being ourselves relate to being femme, becasue femme is a part of us, and that's what I'm interested in seeing.
You'll also notice, along with the visual and name changes on the site, the structure is going to be a little different as well. Every author will be writing within their own "column" which may be on a specific topic related to their femmeininity, or may be on their femmeininity in general, or something else entirely, giving them a
I'm also going to start featuring femme-based identity interviews, first of the authors and then (hopefully) of readers and prominent femmes. This is along the same lines (though not identical to) the Butch Lab Mini-Interviews, so they won't be super grueling, but hopefully they will be thought provoking. If you already know you would be willing to answer a few simple questions about femme and identity, let me know (femmegalaxyblog@gmail.com). I'm really interested in turning this place into somewhere that you can express your femmeininity, if you so desire.
Along those lines, I want to highly encourage everyone reading this to look at our Submissions Page, we are looking for both regular authors (minimum one post a month) and guest post contributors. We are not offering monetary compensation for articles at this time, but hope to be able to do so at some point in the future. There will be more about this in another post as well.
Questions? Comments? Troubles with the new theme? (Like the drop-down list of authors isn't working for some unknown reason, grumble grumble) Love the changes? Hate the changes? Please let me know!
It's official. I've become obsessed with makeup.
A few years ago I stopped using products with toxic ingredients in them. No Sodium Laureth Sulphate, no Parabens, no Propylene Glycol, no DEA, no PEG, no BPA, no phthalates, etc. At that time I mostly gave up makeup as well. I knew that I could get bare minerals in the store, and I bought a few shades of eye shadow, but I was never hugely into makeup except some black eyeliner and lipstick with the occasional eye shadow, so it wasn't a big loss.
Just in the last few months something has changed. First I discovered Burt's Bees lip shimmers, I could get my red lipstick on without compromising my body toxicity. Then, I discovered pigments, specifically Madd Styles Cosmetics 100% vegan and body-friendly pigments--or, piggiez as she calls them. I fell in love instantly, and now the few pressed eye shadows I had been using in the last few years are gathering dust at the bottom of my substantially larger than ever before makeup case.
It didn't just stop at MSC, however. I then went on to discover Unique Pigments, Zosimos Botanicals, Epically Epic Soap, Jadore Noir Cosmetics, and The All Natural Face, all of which I have made very successful purchases from. All of which are completely non-toxic and fantastic! Also, I'm not affiliated with any of them. There are more that I haven't tried yet, and a quick search around Etsy and the blogs and vlogs that I watch all tell me there are far more I haven't even discovered yet.
I know it's a big fad these days to add the words "natural," "organic," or even "hypoallergenic" to things, especially those that aren't. I can't tell you how many times I've picked up a bottle of something--makeup, body wash, lotion, etc.--that boasted to be one or all of those things that had sodium laureth sulfate (SLS) in it, a chemical that dries out your skin or hair, is a known irritant, mimics hormones in the body, and takes a long time to leave once it is absorbed. Sometimes companies leave out one harmful ingredient, such as SLS, but still include parabens, propylene glycol, or some other of the myriad of chemicals that can cause body burden.
So, I read labels carefully. Most companies that actually care about this sort of stuff, rather than just paying lip-service to it, will give the mundane name of something next to the complicated chemical one, such as: theobroma cacao (cocoa) seed butter. If I am not sure about an ingredient I look it up in the Cosmetics Database, either on my phone while in the store or at home with the intention of getting the product at a later time.
Mostly, though, I buy from companies I know and trust, and I do research into the company before buying from them. This may be as simple as looking through their policies online and reading their ingredient lists, or looking at their Facebook pages to see what other people are saying and what they are putting out there. I know this sounds like a lot of work, and it is, but it is worth it to know exactly what I am putting on my face and in my body. And, yes, I am this meticulous with the foodstuff I put in my body as well, I am a vegetarian and eat as organic as possible (just in case you were wondering).
I have found great joy in being this nitpicky, and makeup has been helping me find and explore my femmeininity in new and exciting ways. I hold no judgment for those who choose not to be as obsessive as I am about makeup choices, but I do want to share the information I have acquired through my many hours of research. Thus, a column is born. I will be posting various makeup tips, reviews of products and companies, and possibly even tutorials.
You all may or may not have seen this yet, but I just saw this thanks to Femme Guy and thought it would be great to pass along. Berlin Femme Mafia is looking for feminine queers of all types to contribute to their zine project. The deadline is just over a month away, so sorry about the late notice on this one, I hadn't seen it until now. It sounds like a pretty awesome project.
From on the Berlin Femme Mafia site:
The Berlin Femme Mafia presents
Feminine Voices on Sexism in the Queer Community, a zine.
Call for submissions! Please distribute promiscuously.Have you ever felt excluded from or experienced prejudice in the queer community because of your gender expression? The Berlin Femme Mafia is creating a zine of stories about sexism in the worldwide queer community by feminine trans* folk and queers.
The Berlin Femme Mafia knows that sexism against femininities continues in the queer community and we want all our feminine-identified trans* and queer sisters to share their perspective. Why does this gender inequality still exist in a self-named 'feminist' movement? We want to hear your thoughts about and experiences of discrimination against female and feminine gender expressions.
This project will be from the perspective of queer and trans* feminine folk and focus on sexism against our expressions of femininity. We invite contributions from all self-defined trans* and queer femininities, including trans*women, femmes, genderqueers, and queer ciswomen and -men with a feminine gender expression, no matter if part or full-time feminine.
Tell us about the stuff that makes you angry or sad. This can include being excluded for the way you walk, talk, dress, and negative comments about female bodies. Tell us what you would like to see change. What would a perfect queer community look like to you? Queertopia!
Contributions can be anything that will fit onto a half-size page, including creative writing, personal accounts of incidents, theory and artwork. We will print the zine in German and English, but will do our best to translate submissions in other languages into English.
To be included in a zine project by the Berlin Femme Mafia and made available online and in Berlin.
Contributions should be emailed to Laura at pinklab[at]hotmail[dot]com
DEADLINE: 23rd May 2011
http://berlinfemmemafia.blogspot.com/
N.B. For artwork, please send as pdf or write for postal address. Note that the zine will be in 'half size' or A5 format. (148 x 210 mm -- 5.8 x 8.3 inches)
If you are like me, or most of the femmes I know, you are busy. Non-stop, perhaps. You have work and/or school, projects, interests, hobbies, friends, groups, lovers, and all manner of fabulous things that take up all of your waking hours. Sure, you say, everyone is busy. Well, that's true, and this message isn't only reserved for femmes, it's valid for everyone who is busy, it's just my experience that femmes tend to be actively busy, always doing or creating something, taking part of something, actively using their time rather than passively passing it. This is probably not true for every femme everywhere, but from my experience the femmes I know are busy busy busy.
This is your reminder to breathe. It's hard for me to not have my awareness shift to my breath when someone tells me to breathe, I'm even doing so unconsciously while I'm writing this, so I hope that is the case for you too. Take in a few nice deep breaths as you continue to read this.
My point is not just about breath but also a reminder to take time for yourself, make sure your needs are being met, and tune in with your body. Taking a moment or many moments to check in with where you are, what you are doing, and where you are going.
Perhaps reading this blog is you taking time for yourself, reading the writings of other femmes in hope of finding out more about others and yourself, if so, fabulous, you're already doing what I'm trying to remind you of. For others it might be taking a bubble bath, reading a book, spending time with a lover (or more), or any sort of calming activity (though the last I mentioned may not be calming in the same sense).
I find that, while I love to be busy and to have a million and one projects going, have all of my time micromanaged to the point of near exhaustion, I also love being able to take time for myself, decompress, and remember why I'm doing all that stuff in the first place.
Like I said, you may be doing this already, but just in case you're not this is your reminder.
I'm sorry I've been neglecting you for so long, my darling. It's not something I meant to do, but there have been many changes in my life recently and, to be honest, I'm worried about the safeness of your space. This is something I need to remedy, but I haven't had the drive to do so. I've also been going through a lot of changes in regard to my gender, and while femme definitely fits me I'm trying to figure out how to express the gender-fluid femme boi that I have inside of me, not only physically but also through writing.
I've also been thinking about ways to change you, especially as you've just turned one year old. I want to make you more of a community resource, as that was the idea all along, but I've been thinking of better ways to do that. I'm going to start sharing you with more people, something I know you will like as well, allowing people to submit their own posts to be published instead of limiting the publishing to a distinct few.
I want to see more diversity on you, though I've been saying that from the beginning I haven't done a lot to support it. Although we do have a bit of diversity among the authors it is not enough for me.
My comment policy is also something I've been working on for a while. I need you to be a safe space, both for myself and others to express our feelings without worry of mean comments. Respective constructive comments, sure, but downright offensive or mean ones will not be tolerated. I mean to create something like Kate Harding's comment policy for you, but I haven't gotten around to it.
I want to add more pictures to your layout as well, an idea I had when I first started working on this layout with it's rotating images to the left, but something I haven't put much into practice. (If you reading this have an image you would like to see there please send it to femmesguide AT gmail.com.)
So, TFG, while I know I've been neglecting you I've also been thinking a lot about you, but have been distracted by other projects and my own thing, just as Bevin talked about. It's not you, it's me, promise, but I'm trying to get better at writing.
Happy Birthday!
Yours,
Scarlet Lotus
