Heart-Shaped Ice Cubes

For about the past four years, shaped ice cubes have been a staple in my freezer. As silly as it sounds, I've had some criticism to my ice. It's smaller than square ice cubes, it's harder to get out of the tray, you have to refill it more frequently, it's not automated... None of these criticisms have deterred me from my love affair with novelty ice cube trays, however. They liven up a cocktail, a cup of juice, lemonade or just plain cold ice water on a hot summer's day. The best time to find them is around major holidays. Valentine's day and Independence day are great for hearts and stars! Since they do make smaller ice cubes, I usually keep them in a zip bag or a food safe container so that I can make lots at one time. It's getting up into the 80's here in west central Florida, ice is becoming a staple in every beverage, and this is one way that I express my femmeininity in the kitchen.

I think my next post may be an apron sewing tutorial. Anyone up for that? Here's some apron eye candy to get you thinking about the possibilities.

Gardening apron, the pink fabric has the names of plants and flowers written in grey scripot.

Chickpea, Lentil, Spinach Stew

It's 2 in the morning and I haven't eaten properly all day and (thankfully?) there are no unhealthy-yet-convenient foods available (i.e. frozen stuff). Being a vegetarian who has diabetes, eating should be something that I pay a lot of attention to, but several parts of my life have been upside down the past 6 months or so. Which would also be the reason I haven't been writing much. I held a part time job over the holidays in addition to school work, I just lost my very dear uncle, and now I'm desperately looking for work again. But, I cannot say I am poor, because poor people do not have cabinets full of food bought with spare money. Tonight I needed to put something healthful, filling and warm into my tummy, so I stared at some lentil soup recipes and came up with this!

Chickpea Lentil Spinach Stew
2 T olive oil
3 cloves garlic, sliced
1/4 medium red onion, chopped
4 roma, plum or campari tomatoes, sliced
2 T diced poblano pepper
2 large handfuls of fresh spinach or 3/4 cup frozen spinach
6 cups warm water
1/2 cup lentils
1-2 cups egg noodles or other pasta
1 can of garbanzo beans, drained, rinsed (cheating, I know!)
Salt, black pepper, spices to taste
Optional: cheese, just because it is awesome.

Directions: Heat oil in pan on medium heat. Add garlic, onion and poblano pepper, cooking until they begin to soften. Add tomatoes and spinach. Simmer a little while longer, gradually turning up the heat until almost no tomato juice is left. Once everything is coming together, add the lentils and 6 cups of warm water, then bring it to a low boil. Add the pasta and cook a little while longer, reducing the heat a bit, if necessary. Add the can of beans and cook until pasta is al dente (Or however you like them. My housemate likes them soft. Bleh.) For seasonings, I added about a teaspoon of oregano, a dash of celery salt, paprika, chili powder, and garlic salt, and a good teaspoon each of salt and fresh ground pepper. Because cheese is like crack for vegetarians, I sliced some monterrey jack for the top of my nommy bowl of soup. But, do what you wish with spices and toppings... with the whole thing, even!

Pros: Garbanzos and lentils are SO good for us, lots of healthful fiber and a wee bit of protein. Garlic is a powerful super food that is part of my wellness arsenal (it's ok cooked but it's like the Terminator against colds if taken raw, minced in a tablespoon of honey and a big gulp of water - sounds gross, but I swear by it!). Spinach is a super food, too, as are most deep green veggies. Peppers and spicy food in general is great for boosting metabolism, too.

Cons: There is probably too much salt. And I'll probably eat too much of it because it is so delicious. Does that count as a con?

So what's "femme" about this soup?
There's not much femme about the soup, unless you're a housewifey femme who likes to throw things together from items already in one's cupboards to create a flavorful, healthful meal. What's femme about the process of cooking is that when I concocted this soup, I was taking care of my #1. Last year I renewed my vow to always do what is best for me, because that is what is best for everyone around me. I am a rescuer but somehow I always wind up rescuing others but not myself, which is what got me into my current financial trouble. A woman taking care of herself? Preposterous. But that commitment is the most important one you'll ever make. Make it a ritual, write it on your mirror in red lipstick, put a reminder in your calendar for next month and make health-related appointments as soon as possible. Drink more water, eat whole fruits and plan therapeutic dates with friends, even if it's just popcorn and a movie at home or a walk in the park. Practice telling yourself that you are beautiful, valuable and unique - and meaning it. Put down some manageable goals and a positive, concise mantra on paper and keep it near you. It is not selfish to do whatever it takes to make your own wellbeing your top priority. It is essential.

Okay, I think I've made my point. Time for bed! Just be good to yourselves, okay?

All my love.

Technorati Tags: cooking, food, health, soup

Staying warm is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately! Here in Florida we don't get a lot of cold weather by the rest of North America's standards but when the temperature drops to 60F, we cheerfully pull our "winter" clothes out of the closet. Of course when the sun goes down, and the temps get down into the 40's most of us start getting grumpy. Last year we heated our house to 72F and spent a lot of time opening and closing the doors to go smoke outside. After the alarming number of electricity bills costing $3oo-$400 we paid last winter and over the summer this year, my roommate (and former girlfriend) has forbidden us to use the central heat. This will be the first time our other roommate has ever spent a winter with minimal heat and it's a drastic change to her philosophy on heating and cooling. The positive side to all this is that we have been motivated to find creative ways to stay warm! I have a pretty bad time of picking favorites, so I will tell you my top choices.

4: Electric heaters are not the most personal or creative ways of getting heat, but my heating pad and oil filled radiator have served me well for a lot less money than the central heat, and they work a lot faster without drying out my skin as badly.

3: I have recently been spending a lot of time with a super respectful, open-minded and thoughtful gentleman. He is significantly taller and wider than I am, which makes him very snuggly and warm. I honestly didn't expect to enjoy the company of a lifelong gentleman as much as I do, and it is a welcome change from the discomfort, distrust and disappointment that has surrounded my interactions with such men in the past. He warms both my heart and my body at once.

2: Since it's finally been cold, I've been able to make use of some of my knitted items! I realized that in two years of knitting I have not made anything for myself except swiffer covers and dish towels. That's no fun! So this winter I resolved to make some things for myself. I've been wearing a knitted scarf, but I have plans for warm socks and for a cozy shawl.

1: Tea has been a love of mine for some time, but a couple of years ago I discovered a tea lounge in my city that serves only high quality loose leaf tea in a dazzling array of colors and flavors. Since there is no other such place within convenient driving distance, this tea lounge has become my living room, study and office. In addition to a community, I've also gained a greater knowledge of tea varieties, the benefits of tea, and best practices for steeping a flavorful, satisfying cup of tea. In the winter months I drink more of my tea hot rather than over ice. In addition to helping me keep warm, it also soothes sore throats and supports healthy immune function.

oh. and soup. I forgot soup. Soup recipe next!

Technorati Tags: clothes, clothing, cold, cool, heat, knitting, knitwear, tea, warmth

Sugar is a synonym for love and affection. As in, my grandma saying, "come here and give me some sugar" as soon as I enter her house. Sugar is used as a reward for good behavior... we give sugar to our children when they've earned it and we give it to ourselves when we deserve a treat. Sometimes we even withhold sugar from ourselves when we've been bad. Sugar is also a pet name for our beloveds. If you're a Southern femme, you might call just about anybody "sugar" - Northerners just don't get it. They get offended because you've called them what they see as a term of endearment when there has been no rapport established. What they don't know is that they're nobody special. As far as you're concerned, everybody's "sugar" until proven guilty. Sugar is the default. If you don't want sugar in your coffee, usually you have to specify that. Sugar is novel: have you seen the new retro soft drinks made with *gasp!* real sugar? Sugar (along with fat) strikes fear into the hearts of those who may care a little too much about their weight. Sugar comforts us when we are sad, celebrates with us when we are happy. Addiction to sugar can cause lifelong wellness issues such as type 2 Diabetes. I speak from experience! For me, too much sugar in a short period of time can cause mood swings. I cannot count the number of times I have crashed - HARD - after a delicious ice cream cone or a delightful breakfast of strawberry crepes. Or a sugared coffee drink. Or a soft drink. Or a couple of cookies and milk.

Whew. Whether or not you've struggled with weight / wellness / body image issues, I'd bet real money that you have or have had an ambivalent relationship to sugar. As I have been starting to take better care of myself, I have had to change the way I think about food - especially about sugar. Food is food, nutrition, fuel for our bodies and nothing else. Sugar is a component of some foods. It is neither a reward, nor a punishment. It is neither good nor bad. Sugar itself is only harmful if we misuse it or use it excessively. The hard part is that there is no singular standard for how much sugar one should consume on a daily basis. It is different for everyone, and we would do well to practice listening to our bodies so that we can determine how much is too much, too little and just enough. Because I am diabetic, I can usually have very little sugar. Most of the time, sugar is reserved for when I have made poor dietary choices for the day. I forgot to eat. I didn't bring a healthy snack. I don't want to go out to eat, but I can't get home in time to prevent a low blood glucose episode. When I eat sugary foods, usually it means I have done something wrong. Somehow I have failed to properly care for myself. Either I ate too much or I failed to eat enough. Things should not be this way.

Personally, I don't like assignments from blogs that I read in my leisure time. Work and school give me enough of that. With that said, won't you humor me and spend a little bit of time thinking about your own relationship to sugar and sweets? How has sugar affected your self image? What can you do to equalize the power imbalance between you and sugar? What patterns of thinking do you need to alter so that food is not a reward or a punishment, but rather sustenance for your body to be able to function at it's peak? Is there anyone you need to talk to about this subject? Do you need to confront parents, friends, coworkers about their influence on your relationship to food? Instead of direct confrontation, perhaps you can arm yourself with some simple, memorable responses to controversial beliefs about sweets and sugar. Take action, even if you only spend a minute or two in thought. I believe this is important.

With all that said, I'm going to tell you some ways that you can dress up your sugar bowl. I have found that adding flavor to my sugar helps me to be satisfied with less of it in my food. Some visitors to my kitchen have made fun of how many jars of sugar I keep: granulated sugar, light brown sugar, dark brown sugar, confectioner's sugar, agave nectar, honey, molasses.... hey, a baker's got to have a wide range of ingredients! Under the category of white granulated sugar, I have several flavor variations (with more in mind!) that I think you'll enjoy.

This isn't a recipe, there is nothing to measure, but if you'd like to flavor your sugars naturally, try sticking one or two items from the following list into your sugar jar. Or in five different containers of sugar. Who's counting?

Whole cinnamon stick

Whole vanilla bean

Star anise

Whole nutmeg, allspice, cloves or any pumpkin pie spices

Fresh mint leaves

Slices of ginger

Orange, lemon or lime zest

Dried fruit such as raisins, cranberries, plums or apricots

Other fresh fruits sliced very thinly (strawberries? peaches?)

Chocolate, just a couple of chunks!

For wet stuff, the sugar will actually preserve the fruit, but it's important to check it frequently and refrigerate if it's making you nervous. Right now I have one jar with cinnamon and vanilla that smells absolutely divine, as well as one with lemon and orange rind. Whenever I cook with citrus, I always zest it first before cutting it up. Why throw away perfectly good zest? You can also fish out the candied zest to use in recipes. I topped a zucchini bread with candied orange zest once. Mhhmmmh!!

So you're wondering why on earth I just went on a rant about my problematic relationship to sugar and then told you how to flavor your sugar bowl. My point is this: for folks who agree that sugar is great when used in moderation (whatever amount is moderate for the individual), you might as well have damn good tasting sugar. Savor it. Snuggle it. Declare your love for it for as long as it lasts. Just do it in a way that is loving to your body, mind, and spirit.

P.S. I know you've heard me talk about NuStevia, and it's because it's the most amazing natural zero calorie sweetener ever. Most stevia is dis-gust-ing. I'm not getting paid to tell you this, I just want more people to be able to take advantage of this non-bitter, non-yucky, non-sugar sweetener. Start with just a little bit and gradually work up to the level of sweetness you prefer. Heck, combine it with one of these yummy flavored sugars. You'll hardly notice a difference and you'll be saving yourself GOBS of calories that can be "spent" on foods of exponentially greater nutritional value. I honestly believe that switching to stevia (rather than a chemical low calorie sweetener) has been one of my biggest assets as I have pursued health and wellness this year. If it's not for you, please try your favorite drinks and other foods with no sweetener at all - there are many things that I prefer with no sugar, no stevia, no nothing because I have come to appreciate the pure, unaltered flavor. I drink to your health, my darlings!

Technorati Tags: body image issues, drinks, flavor, food, food nutrition, foods, health, natural, pumpkin, rant, recipe, strawberries, sugar, term of endearment, type 2 diabetes, wellness

Do I even have any femme role models? I feel guilty for thinking that because there were plenty of feminine women in my life, but I don't think that any of them had femme politics and values. They certainly weren't queer, although I've wondered about Gram for awhile now. Grandma is really "something" as we say in the South. She's strong. She asked me to help her carry a huge rock down the hill to a rock garden. It probably weighed 50 pounds and it was an awkward shape, The next day I was in horrible pain and she was fine!

She eats like a bird and is so slender. I remember sleeping over sometimes on Saturdays at my grandparent's house. In the morning we would get dressed for church together. This is when I was probably somewhere between 5-8 years old. I remember watching her put on her makeup, so proficient... proficient, or not too worried about it being perfect. Some kind of necklace, often pearls. I love pearls passionately. Perfume. Even on days that she would wear pants, she still looked amazing and feminine. Of course, this my gram. Of course I think she's amazing and beautiful! She usually still mows her own grass although she's now in her mid 70s and although she puts on her gardening gloves and digs around in the dirt, she does so with such a grace and poise. She's also the type of gal who does not suffer fools or put up with any kind of bullshit. Isn't that one definition of femme? She can go about her normal activities, even stereotypically masculine activities, maintaining her feminine strength. I would like to think that I am something like her. I'm not thin like she is, I don't believe that I have as much poise as she has cultivated throughout her life, I'm not as physically strong as she is right now. But in our femmeness and attitude and all the ways in which she and I interact with the world, our similarities come to light.

She's also super crafty and an excellent cook just like me! She has crocheted countless afghans and blankets, and became quite an accomplished seamstress. Her recipes in my cookbook have frequently watered the mouths of friends and visitors to my home who raise up a chorus of moans upon tasting her culinary masterpieces. Even the easiest, least complicated recipes have become favorites that friends have begged me to make over and over again. I need to visit her...

Beyond Grandma as a role model for my feminine appearance, my queer femme politics were informed mostly by books, articles, blogs and a film. When I first thought I might be femme, I bought almost every book I could find on the internet about femme. And butch. And butch/femme. Some of it was erotica, some of it was gender and queer theory, but all of it resonated with me and I devoured them each one as soon as it arrived on my doorstep. The books didn't tell me how to be femme, but they described how other people do femme. They echoed back to me my motives, values, desires as if the authors meant to describe me specifically. The film If These Walls Could Talk 2 (has anyone seen IFWCT1??) showed me femme and butch in a new way too. The second act about lesbian feminists in the early 70s. Chloë Sevigny as "Amy" melted my heart away with her butch smirk and swagger. I identified so much with Michelle Williams' character, "Linda" because in the moment that this film captures she is just figuring out how to relate to butch oriented people... Linda may not know it, but I think she is also starting to allow her herself to be femme. That's where I was four years ago.

I don't mean to make all this sound like femmes are dependent on butches for their identity, or that butch and femme are inextricably intertwined, but they certainly have a shared history. For me, however, being femme has a LOT to do with loving butches; more specifically, loving butch and genderqueer tops (and ftm tops but that's a topic for an entirely different post). I absolutely love to please them by acknowledging their masculinity through my submissive and feminine behavior. They affirm me as a submissive femme in the way that they offer their chivalry. Truthfully, it was learning everything I felt I could possibly learn about butches from books and blogs and Sinclair and my butch-ish friends that stirred my femme spirit up and out of my being. Pair that with my degree in Women's Studies and just like magic, you've got a queer femme.

I guess I answered my own question, huh. Gram taught me how to be feminine, butches (tops) taught me how to be a (submissive) femme and women's studies brought it all together, making me a lesbian feminist queer femme (politics + sexual identity).

Which is another topic for another post: lesbian being my politics not my sexual identity.

Femme Conference has been rocking my world and blowing my mind and all that good stuff, so I'm hoping this didn't come out like stream of consciousness. If it did, I hope that you enjoyed the ride.

Each month here on the Femme's Guide we are all encouraged to respond to a prompt. This month it's about femme community and I've realized that my thoughts on the issue are pretty scattered so I'm just going to answer these questions as best I can.

Sassafras writes:

Talk about your relationship to femme community. What does it mean to you? What does it look like? How has it it changed your life? How have you struggled with it? What are your dreams for what it could be?

I think that my real introduction to the femme community was when I started reading Sinclair's thoughts about butch and femme... I think it has been almost four years since then, since I stopped denying my femmeininity. Even for a long time after that, I had little true communion with other femmes. I had plenty of androgynous/butch friends. I'm not sure why I never made better friends with other femmes. One reason may be that folks around here aren't too concerned with intentional, conscious gender. Even now, four years out as femme, the majority of my femme oriented friends are scattered across the country and the world because I met them through this group beautiful sex/work/gender/survival/power/erotica bloggers. I have met almost none of them, although I feel like close friends with some... Curvaceous Dee, who has seen me through a number of hardships. My local femmes don't all get along, due to disparate value systems and lifestyles and it's disappointing... but each of them brings unique blessings and dilemmas to my life.

To me, femme community means: having someone to make sure you look ok when you leave the house. Or if you don't look ok, they'll muss the bun on their head and crimp some wrinkles into their shirt so the two of you match. being able to talk to another femme about shared struggles in life and relationships that stem from your queer femininity. Maybe femme community is about having your own personal gender posse who will defend you from the judgments of outsiders. Knowing that you're unique, but you're not alone.

Maybe femme community is not comprised of femmes only, but also any who identify differently but still support and affirm the power and legitimacy of a queer femme identity. Maybe femme community also means having friends and lovers provide opportunities for us to shine... by thanking you for being an excellent hostess, or acknowledging the effort you put into your appearance, holding you in the way you like most of all, or simply exhibiting chivalry so that you can behave in a courtly manner... if you're that type of gal. Ivan Coyote gifts femmes with this beautiful poem, a very tender expression of femme community from someone who does not identify this way.

I know that this glittering femme community has affected me because I feel its lack of influence in my life so dramatically right now. I know that I flourish and thrive when I'm deep in femme-affirming territory. I sometimes dream of moving to a place with more intentional femmes and butches, to a place where it's a little easier to be queer, where I could start over anew. But I cannot, and if I were to do that I think I would be giving up the chance to find the femmes who live right here. I would miss the out on being the voice of a Floridian Femme at the upcoming femme conference. Perhaps I underestimate the quality of community that I have, since I get to contribute to the conversation about intentional, queer femmeininity right her on Femme's Guide. Although my comments may not be the most eloquent ones here, I'm not afraid to stand up and speak my mind. Maybe that's what femme community is: a place where you can stand up and speak your mind about femmeininity without fear of judgment or retribution. Can we all agree to disagree and affirm each other despite our differences? When that happens, I can stop searching.

Technorati Tags: CommUNITY, femme, femme besties, femme conference, gender indentity, sex bloggers, women

You might have noticed that most of my last few posts have been about food. Starting this month I'll be writing about my relationship to the kitchen as a queer femme. I plan to include some recipes as well as vignettes from my struggle to achieve a healthful lifestyle and diet. Living an unhealthy lifestyle really makes me feel unfemmeinine... un- a lot of things and I want to change that by "going public" with my intentions. I'm very thankful for the feedback that readers have provided in the past, and I look forward to sharing this journey toward wellness with all of you!

Like many people, I have had an ambivalent relationship with food for most of my life. My mother is diabetic and a couple of years ago my pancreas finally pooped out on me and I developed type 2 diabetes as well. That *should* have been the beginning of a revolution in my health (really, it should have happened when I found out that I was pre-diabetic many years ago) but I did not really focus on my wellness until this year. First, in March I began getting treatment for depression and mental illness, about which I had been in denial for at least a year. At the same time, I also began tracking my blood glucose levels with more diligence and paying attention to the kind of food I was eating. More recently, I've begun working out with a friend once or twice a week, and using sparkpeople.com to track my food intake, blood sugar and exercise. Finally, things are starting to come together!

Today I'm going to share with you my shiny new breakfast routine! It includes oats and a morning smoothie that is full of nutrients and (I think) tastes amazingly delicious! One thing I've learned since tracking my food intake is that I actually do no eat enough to keep my body strong and healthy. How weird is that? Usually when I do get enough calories, they're the wrong kind. In order to resolve this problem, I gave breakfast a big makeover. Prior to this makeover, breakfast included nothing, a granola bar, or a bowl of cheerios. That kind of breakfast can really put someone off to a bad start! Now, I have a very small bowl of quick oats and at least two big servings of fruits and veggies!

Oats for Wellness
Ingredients:
1/4 to 1/2 cup of dry quick oats
boiling water
1/4t to 1t unsweetened cocoa powder
1-2 T raisins or other dried fruit
spices to taste (I use ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon and clove)
1-2 T peanut butter or other nut butter

Directions: Boil water in a pot or tea kettle. Scoop your oats into a heat-safe bowl and add the spices, cocoa and fruit. Add the boiling water just a little bit at a time until you have achieved the consistency you like. (Note: the directions on my quick oats say to add oats to water and cook for 1 minute. This makes my oats way too mushy. Cook the oats by your preferred method.) I add the peanut butter at the end, but when I'm not paying attention, I put it in before the water. Either way is fine. Serve hot.

This is so easy, especially when I wake up with a "fasting" blood sugar level! I know the cocoa sounds weird, but it actually provides some extra protein and nutrients. Same goes for the fruit. Peanut butter has lots of calories but they mostly come from good fats that your bodies needs to stay in tip top shape.

Whirled Berries
Ingredients:
1 banana, any size
3-5 blackberries (the seeds don't grind up and they're hard to chew. I use 3)
5-6 strawberries with leaves removed
1/4 c blueberries
1/4 c raspberries
Big handful of baby spinach leaves (trust me!)
1 Serving of protein powder (I use 2 T Bob's Red Mill Hemp Protein Powder)
1 t chia seeds (optional, I get them in bulk from the health food store)
No-sugar-added fruit juice, milk, or milk substitute to taste

Directions: No complicated instructions here! Add all ingredients to your blender and blend until smooth, adding some milk or juice to taste if needed, or if your blender is having a hard time blending frozen fruit. I use my bullet mini blender because it's way less to wash afterward!

This is the way I make my breakfast, but it is just one example of a nutrient-packed meal to give you a good foundation for your busy day. Switch up the ingredients! Try different kinds of fruits, or combine them in a different way. Add a low-calorie sweetener like Nu-Stevia, if you like, but I think the fruit alone gives it a great flavor. You can't taste the spinach, I promise!

Be well or pursue wellness, my lovelies!

Technorati Tags: blood glucose levels, exercise, fat, food, Oats, queer fat femmes, recipe, relationships, smoothie, spinach, strawberries, thoughts, type 2 diabetes

My grandmother used to sew a new Easter dress every year, which inevitably turned out to be my favorite dress until the following Easter. There was a period of time when I was a little girl where despite climbing trees, running and playing, I refused to wear pants. It was not because girls shouldn't wear pants. It was because pants were hot and with skirts the breeze can cool your legs in the hot Florida sun. As I grew older I set aside skirts little by little. By the time high school came around, I almost never wore them except to church. My blossoming figure was getting me some unwanted attention so I started to hide my curves by wearing unflattering clothing. Even later still, from the end of 2005 until the end of 2007, I had a very masculine stride despite the feminine manner of dress that I picked up again during my former life as a missionary. Throughout all of these different configurations, I was still femme.

I did not feel comfortable and settled into my femmeininity until I started realizing how very much I adore female masculinity. Obviously not everyone who is femme is drawn toward butches and vice versa. Not all femmes were born female. Not all femmes are gay (although I do believe we are all queer, despite various sexual orientations). Masculine women did not make me feel threatened like most men did at the time. They supported my feminine side, did not make fun of me or force me into the cult of true womanhood. Maybe it was the type of butches with which I was associating at the time, but I felt encouraged and valued and seen... That's how I came out to myself. Little by little, as I became less and less afraid of the attention my femmeininity would attract. As I started learning about how femme and butch are radical rather than conformist (and what if they are? does it matter?). After that, every time I ever came out to anyone it was both at once: my mouth said "I'm gay" and my body, my grace, my curves said "I'm femme."

Technorati Tags: clothing, coming into femme, coming out, identity, themes

This is not a new post, but I believe it is relevant to the discussion here. Take a look at my post from November...

I’m becoming a different kind of lesbian and a different kind of femme, and it has all been surprising.
I quit shaving my legs about 2 months ago.
I’m becoming the type of lesbian who gets excited about canning and pickling.
I’m that girl who gets excited about baby making, and sewing cloth diapers and pureeing my own baby food.
I’ve been thinking a lot about capitalism, and its role in my life.
I want to know more about where my clothes and food come from.
I’m feeling less and less concerned about grad school and more and more concerned about becoming a responsible human being who tries do to with less.
My cravings for a more open and poly-leaning relationship are waning dramatically because the One I’ve got keeps on seeming more and more like the One I want. Other People ™ are too hard to manage.
What I’m craving now… there is a long list of things… nature walks, community meals, cooperative parenting, knitting groups, quilting circles, vegetable and fruit gardens and cotton summer dresses…
To think I haven’t worn a high-heeled shoe in months, and only recently purchased clothes at a retail store for the first time in almost a year! My sewing and knitting repertoire keeps growing, and so does my skill at home cooked meals. I know how to make pie crust from scratch!

Life is so different for me lately. Am I still femme if I don’t shave my legs? I think so. Do I still count as lovely, sexy, beautiful? Yeah, I think so. But all these words mean such drastic different things from when I was first beginning to belong to this bright glimmering butch-femme community. It would seem that I’m in the process of refining and redefining my femmeininity all over again. How does it happen that way? Just when we decide that we’ve figured ourselves out, something throws a wrench into the gears. I’m taking apart the cogs and unscrewing the wheels, trying to decide what to change when I put it back together next…

Anyone interested in a holiday card, some of my Grandma’s cookies/recipes, or just a little surprise treat of my choosing, feel free to write to me with your mailing address. If you’re feeling vulnerable, but would still like to remember the art of hand-writing letters, I’ll give you my address first.

I love you all so dearly…

Several apologies are in order - the first being that I do not post here even half as much as I should. Second being that I have mostly posted recipes. Thirdly that I rarely include photos in my posts. Sorry!

Now folks, I realize that femmes aren't the only people who cook. For me, however, cooking is one of my life's most basic joys. If I can't cook, and I can't eat, then what the hell am I living for?

Apologies aside, I have to share with you a food that I have been eating for family holidays my entire life, and that has please my girlfriend's tummy on many glorious occasions. It first made it for Dana about a year ago and her joyous moans signaled to me that I should make it a recurring theme in our meal planning, not just for the holidays. The ingredients are so simple and there is only one instruction: to mix. It's vegetarian but also pretty high in fat... oh well! Northerners beware, I have a sneaking suspicion that this is Southern food. Without further adieu. I give you this family tradition. You'll never look at a can of creamed corn the same, I swear!

Corn Pudding
1 box Jiffy Corn Muffin mix
1 (8 oz) container of Sour Cream
1 can Creamed Corn
1 can Kernel Corn, drained
1 cup of grated cheddar cheese (slightly more or less if you like...)
3 eggs

Bake at 350F for about 45 minutes. (Good cooks will set a timer check it at about 35 mins to see how close to done it is.)

The order makes no difference. But if you want instructions, you got it.

1. Preheat oven to 350F
2. Grease a large casserole dish (I usually skip the grease, you can experiment with the size of the dish, too.... I think mine's about 11" square?)
3. Whisk eggs just a few strokes just until beaten in a large-ish bowl, then add the corn muffin mix.
4. Add the creamed corn, drain the kernel corn and add that too.
5. Finally add the sour cream and then mix in the cheese. (For all this mixing, I just use a spatula. You can also use a fork. No stand mixer needed!)
6. Pour into the baking dish and bake in the oven until you stick a knife in it and it comes out clean and the top is a very light golden brown. Do not overcook.

This tasty treat goes great with poultry (or substitute thereof) and a green vegetable. Go back for as many seconds as you want. Don't be intimidated by the large dish - it's so freaking YUMMY! I can't even show you a picture of the one we had the other day because there's only one serving left. Also, don't be scared by the name "pudding" - it is more like a bread pudding or a soufflé. Only tangentially related to corn casserole, as I understand it. I've never had corn casserole.

Feel free to share your thoughts, recipes, or memories of foods you love!

Technorati Tags: family, food