Hi there, stars of the Femme Galaxy!
My name is Julia, I blog at Femme on a Mission, and I'm very excited to be writing my first post here. The title of my column is "Femme in the Face of Fire," and I will be addressing some of the challenges that face those of us who embrace femme identity.
Today I want to discuss an issue that was brought to the forefront of my attention after reading this article, written by a feminist blogger. In it, she bewails the perceived self-infantilization of women who dress femininely.
So here's the thing - the infantilization of women is definitely a problem, and it definitely happens. (Think "sexy schoolgirls.")
(via GQ) This hits all the points: doe-eyed, open mouth, lollipop, uniform, high school locker room
But I don't think it's fair to say women who wear rompers or who appreciate, to use an example from the article, "rainbows, Girl Scout cookies, and laughing a lot" are acting like little girls. (I'm not sure what it is about laughing that the author sees as either childish or feminine... It's as if she is saying, And no more fun!)
Being a woman who happens to dress femininely is not self-infantilization; it's being a woman who happens to dress femininely. Infantilization has to do with the sexualization of childhood imagery, and it seems that often the feminine is being mislabeled as childish. Contrary to the assertion of the article in question, miniskirts are not a symbol of prepubescence but a feminine style of dress.
This is infantilization:
A grown woman pictured with giant teddy bear
Not this:
A grown woman in a short pink dress.
This femininity-bashing - and particularly from a feminist perspective - is frustratingly ubiquitous. Ironically, there is something misgonynistic about conflating the feminine with the infantile. Femininity is not the same as childishness, and I resent the implication that the traditionally feminine is immature, weak, and juvenile. There is nothing inherently more "adult" about wearing a neutral-colored pant-suit instead of a pink frilly dress.
This femme is tired of defending femininity against the claims of the greater competence and maturity of the masculine or androgynous.
So listen up, femininity-bashing feminists: If you want to stop women from being infantilized, you could start by allowing them to choose what they want to wear, instead of telling them what they shouldn't.
Hi Julia
"I blog at Femme on a Mission"
But not recently
Nor here. Nor anyone else here. In fact a lot of the femme blogs I check are quiet at the moment – and some of them have packed in altogether – and even removed their archives from the web.
What's going on? What are all the femme bloggers up to? Is there a secret party going on somewhere? Or has everyone tripped over their heels? Or what?
Hi there,
I don't agree with your critique of Julie Klausner's article. Although I understand where she is coming from, I don't know fully agree with her bashing of women acting innocent, soft and being nostalgic of their teenagehood (or childhood)--acting childish--,I think you missed her point. I do not think she equated acting childish, dressing in a childish way (though miniskirts with Converse, childish, really?? Sneakers are dope for all ages.) and wishing we could all be puppies with a femme presentation.
When she talks about infantilization and self-infantilization, I think she refers to self-belittlement, if that's a word. Basically being on the other end of paternalism. I don't think she was criticizing feminine presentation and fashion. She was attacking the paternalist and sexist implications of such behaviors, being a blind perpetuator (victim) or being the one forcing onto women.
She does talk a lot about acting one's age (though I find that pretty condescending towards people who enjoy gathering around "fro-yo", who wear sneakers and like rainbows on their cupcakes, even when it's not officially Pride Day) and mentions Kathleen Turner and Michelle Obama as references...
Peace!
I totally agree with you. I am quite feminine and enjoy dressing up in beautiful dresses, and soft fabrics. I feel that this is what I like, and as a long as i am putting it on for me, and I want to wear it cause it makes me feel good, why does that make me less of a strong woman. I don't judge anybody for what they choose, and see as less of a strong woman, because we all want a label for what is strong.
I think dressing like a man is sometimes like saying, I am more empowered if I were like a man. Please nobody be offended, if that's what you like go for it!!! But don't judge me.
I LOVE this post. Thank you for writing it.