Happy Femme Appreciation Day, femme-kin! I don’t think there could be a more perfect day to write my column for Femme Galaxy.
I couldn’t be more proud to be femme; more particularly, I couldn’t be more proud to be my brand of femme. It took quite a few years before I came to terms with exactly what kind of femme I am, so to finally be comfortable in my own skin is something I absolutely do not take for granted.
Ever since I first realized I was not straight, I have been attracted to fellow femmes. My first crush was a straight tomboy counselor at summer camp, but the first girl I ever dated—and kissed, come to think of it—was a fellow femme. It unsettled me at the time and for quite some time to come, though, because when I am with a fellow femme, I naturally fall into what I call “butchy mode.” My sashay turns into a bit more of a swagger and I find myself doing all those things we call chivalrous – opening doors, walking the girl to her front door, buying her drinks and wanting to be protective of her. (Although, are those things really chivalrous or are they just good manners? Or is there really a difference? Ahh, another article for another time..)
“Butchy mode” didn’t sit well with me for a number of years because I didn’t realize that I could be both inside the same body and inside the same mind. It felt like a suit that didn’t quite fit, that was itchy and hot and I just wanted to take it off and get into my normal comfy clothes. Turns out that itchy suit was more like a new pair of shoes that just needed to be broken in. I have reconciled that femmes can have a less-traditionally-femme side and that it doesn’t make them any less femme. In my case, it (and many other things) made me tomboy femme. Maybe it makes you tomboy femme too, or whatever term you use to embrace your own unique brand of femmeininity. Needless to say, those shoes are very comfortable now, and while I may not wear them every day, they are definitely a fixture in my collection.
The moral of the story, femme-kin, is this: appreciate who you are, not just today but every day. Don’t waste even one minute of time thinking that you are somehow inferior because you are not traditional. The concepts of “femme” and “butch” and “queer” (and… and…) in themselves are about breaking traditions and norms and embracing yourself just because you are you. So embrace it, appreciate it and celebrate it! Today is a special day, yes, but every day is a good day to celebrate being femme.