This time last week, hell even the morning of the conference I didn’t know what I was going to think about Butch Voices NYC (other than I was confident there would be tons of eye candy). As a general rule I’m not much of a conference person. In my private life I’m pretty quiet and a bit of a hermit so unless I’m teaching or reading it’s unlikely to find me at a conference. Butch voices was an exception and I am so glad that I was there.

I attended the conference on the arm of my partner, and honestly hadn’t anticipated there was a lot that * I * was going to take away from the day- WRONG!

I started my day with Corey Alexander’s ‘Doing Relationships With Emotional Armor: for stones and our partners. As someone who nearly exclusively partners with stone identified butches and trans masculine folks I was excited to see emotional armor being raised as a topic of conversation. I know that Corey also facilitates a workshop exploring sexuality for stone identified folks and their partners, which I would also be curious to check out someday.

The absolute highlight of the conference for me came as part of a DIY roundtable-taking place during the second workshop timeslot. The focus was on ‘Responsible Masculinity’ and it’s not an exaggeration to say that the strength and honesty and depth of that conversation absolutely blew me away. For perhaps the first time in my life I was sitting in a circle with 40+ butches and other masculine of center folks along with femmes talking about the pitfalls of misogyny and strategies for walking through the world holding and embodying a masculinity that feels responsible and doesn’t come at the expense of butch comrades or femmes.

Highlights of the conversation included ‘chivalry is hot, misogyny is not’ where the discussion focused in on how gendered exchanges when consensually negotiated can be sexy as hell (AMEN). The discussion also turned to the importance of fostering and building butch community without competition, posturing, or policing the boundaries of butch.

The downside of the conference for me unfortunately came from the ‘Ask A Femme Anything’ panel. Nearly all the panelists were committed to upholding the idea that all butches are women identified (I didn’t see that frame of reference anywhere else at the conference) and seemed set on constructing ‘femme’ as nothing more than cooking dinner and sex objects. When the femmes were asked to introduce themselves, one butch audience member shouted that they should also provide their measurements ---talk about a shift of gears from the responsible masculinity workshop I’d just left. I was so uncomfortable by what was being presented that I ended up leaving that workshop session early.

My partner was one of the readers at the Queer Memoir, Sideshow mashup reading event after the conference. That event was just about the best way I could have thought of to end the conference. I have never seen Bluestockings so crowded and the evening was filled with an incredible array of butch stories!

Butch Voices was truly an unbelievable conference filled with hot and important conversations. As a femme I felt very privileged to have the opportunity to be in that space as an ally and felt spoiled to feel *seen * in ways I so seldom am while out in the world. It was an absolute honor to spend the day there!

Femmes Guide blogger Lola Sunshine is one of my dearest femme friends, we've known eachother for years sent countless hand written letters from coast to coast but had never once met, we'd actually never even spoken on the phone! but when I was in San Francisco last month with Kicked Out we actually had the chance to meet! She pulled up in her Hello Kitty decorated car to get me at my hotel and go have dinner and I knew immediately that any anxiety I might of felt about our meeting for the first time was completely unnecessary. We had such a great time together talking and giggling. I really wish that we'd been able to spend more time together but I treasure the few hours we got to spend hanging out.

I have a bunch of blogs brewing- including my answer to this month's femme writing prompt! Have you been working on yours? Somehow there is only one week left in September, how did that happen?

I'm also going to be attending Butch Voices NYC with my partner this weekend and am confident that the conference will be very inspiring and leave me with lots of thoughts and stories to share with all the readers here at Femmes Guide- I hope to have that posted sometime early next week

I first saw Cherry Poppin’s fantastic portraits of queer folks in glitter online and knew I needed to talk with her for Femmes Guide, after all I know there are few things more femme in my world than glitter! The picture above is one of her portraits- and you can see more of her work on the Glitterbombe facebook page

Sassafras: I guess we can go ahead and get started - please if you feel like I’m not asking stuff I should interject! I guess to start I’m wondering if you can just talk a little bit about yourself to give readers a glimpse into the life of the femme behind the glitter art etc

Cherry: totally. I'm known to most as Cherry (Poppins), from my work in drag and femme communities. I also go by and don't mind my legal name, Allison Stelly.

I'm 30, a queer femme, and I live in San Francisco, but I moved here half a year ago from Austin (Texas).

Sassafras: nice! I'm planning on linking to some of the pictures of your work that you have up on facebook- but I have a feeling photography doesn't fully capture all the sparkle of your work can you describe it to folks?

Cherry: You're so right. The sparkle doesn't quite come across in photos. Basically, it's all glitter. I like to use the superfine glitter, which has intense, vibrant color, and it's very very sparkly.

Sassafras: someday I really want to see your work in person! What would you say is the biggest inspiration for you artistically?

Cherry: Hmmm. I started doing this after I had seen an Austin artist who does celebrity portraits. I wanted one, but I was broke (big news for artists, huh?). So I figured out the process, and I painted a Marilyn Monroe portrait for my room. Then I started making larger pieces, sexy pieces. I like painting boots, maybe my own fetish. And I also like painting my friends, because they are so fabulous and sparkly - performers, femmes, drag kings, genderfuckers.

Sassafras: that sounds incredible - and i share your love of boots!

Cherry: Treating my friends like the celebrities they are.

Sassafras: that's the best quote! I also love that this was something you taught yourself. I've got major DIY roots so that totally appeals to me

Cherry: Totally

I have some fine art background, and I've been an artmaker and crafter my whole life, but I love teaching myself skills.

Sassafras: nice. Which I guess brings me to the question of how do you actually do this - I mean glitter is messy, how do you get it to do what you want?

Cherry: hah! I use glue (like generic school / craft glue) like paint, painting in where I want a color of glitter to go.

Sassafras: that's so cool! I can't imagine how much patience you must have

Cherry: I learned from trial and error to let it dry between colors- that keeps it tidy. Well, on the canvas. It does get everywhere. I have ADD, but I get so hyper focused on art that is repetitive, like this. My lifetime art has a theme of repetition. I'm happiest doing things that involve tons of the same things, tiny parts. Like fantastical costumes that involve hundreds of identical objects sewn on.

Sassafras: *swoon *

How do you think your femme identity factors into your art?

Cherry: First. The obvious: the love for and tolerance of glitter. A fine sheen of glitter coats my floor and my boots, always. I trail it everywhere.

Second, the love of the dramatic (I don't mean in the life-drama way. But in the bigness). I like working large, and I have dreams of massive canvases covered in glitter, lifesize, full body portraits of some of the sexiest people I know.

Sassafras: that sounds incredible!

and sexy!

Cherry: And then my subject matter, of course. Being femme and painting femmes and drag stars and other gender rebels. It's delicious.

Sassafras: I bet! So if a reader wants to get their portrait done in glitter... what's the best way to make that happen? What do you charge?

Cherry: Just email me! glitterbombe@gmail.com. I'm pretty flexible and want to keep art accessible to everyone, especially low income folks, other artists / performers, etc. I've usually accepted $120-$175 for a medium piece (about 18x20), but it's variable depending on complexity.

But I know that's a lot of money, and I like to work with people.

Sassafras: very cool. What do you hope people will take away from looking at your art?

Cherry: It's interesting. I'm very radically political and do a lot of activist work in the rest of my life. But then this work is just so shiny and delicious. I feel full of joy when I make these pieces, and I love them hanging on my own wall. I think these are about joy and beauty and celebration.

Which I think is an important part of the revolution.

Sassafras: that's beautiful!

I think those are all the questions I have at this point, is there anything else you want readers to know about your work?

Cherry: Oh, I wanted to mention in pricing / commissioning work - I don't need payment all at once. We can work it out. At the same time, I think it's important to support art and value it as labor, but my labor isn't more valuable than anyone else's.

Sassafras: Thanks for clarifying that; I imagine that helps some folks out

If you haven’t already you should head right over to facebook and check out more of this great glitter art!!!

There are few things better for an unemployed book addict than opening your mailbox and finding not one, not two, but THREE review books! 'Orgasmic: erotica for women,' 'Got a minute: 60 second erotica' and 'Lesbian Lust.' A huge thank you to Cleis for the unexpected delivery of sexy smutty books for me to review here at Femmes Guide.

Although all were quite enjoyable by far my favorites of the three were Lesbian Lust edited by Sacchi Green and Got a minute: 60 second erotica edited by Alison Tyler. Though in fairness some of my favoritism may have come from seeing a few friends & colleagues names in the Table of Contents and then being quite smitten when I went and read their stories.

From Lesbian Lust the standout piece for me was absolutely fellow femme Miel Rose’s sexy kink filled ‘August Crazies’ I loved the playfulness in her writing in the first part of the story, and the intensity that wrapped it up.

My favorites form 60 seconds were without a doubt Xan West’s ‘The Test’ and “Alley Obsession’ though neither featured femme characters both very leather Daddy in theme, so quite up my alley. I was also drawn into Jen Cross ‘transformations’ that offered a steamy intimate look into sometime fuck buddy interactions of a butch and femme.

All these books are sure to contain at least one book to get things steamy on these last few days of summer, and keep you cozy as the autumn chill sets in

Femme to me feels like pressure. Femme to me feels like loss. Femme to me feels like victory. Femme to me feels like drowning in the deep salt sea.

I found myself avoiding last month's writing prompt until I was forced to admit to myself that I was intentionally ignoring it. My femme inspirations were fragile. They were mortal. They were flawed. Most of my femme inspirations looked beautiful but were sad inside. They were all glamourous but many died early deaths. The Dorothy Dandriges, Nina Simones, Marilyn Monroes, Eartha Kitts, ZsaZsa Gabors, Ella Fitzgeralds, Josephine Bakers, Rue McClanahans, Eva Perons, Marie Antoinettes were all fighters who saw every inch of what it means to be feminine in this world... and they are all dead. Which one the universe might take next terrifies me. Dolly Pardon? David Bowie? What worries me is that my life is like theirs, too much spotlight and not enough rest. Too much pressure and not enough floating. I want to be weightless. I want to be air. I do not always want to be heavy, weighed down by rhinestones and platform heels. I want to explode, disintegrate, dissipate like sequins, like glitter, like gold dust. I want to be the sharp, shiny flecks of sea shells that wash up on shore and turn the sand into mosaic.

Femme to me feels like fighting. Femme to me feels like coming home. Femme to me is chilly. Femme to me is cozy. Femme to me is what it would feel like to wrap yourself in dough and be baked into a loaf of your favorite bread. It would suffocate you. It would nourish you to death.

When I think of those I have lost, I also think of what they accomplished. While the world did have my femme icons, we had art, music, political activism, and fabulous outfits. We had personality up the wazoo. We had a fierceness that came in every style from intentionally flighty to gentle to a vicious thunderstorm-- and they were all a force to be reckoned with. I am all of these things, in one way or another, and I know that I learned from the best. My femme icons changed the world. These public women, and yes, a few brave public men, gave me everything they had, and I took it, and I held it, and I molded it. And what's more, I know there are countless, nameless others, and I want to know their names, I want to remember each and every one that has changed me. But I'm horrible with names. So to all of them I say-- I see you. I love you. I thank you. Everyday I am still learning from you.

Femme is the eye of a hurricane. Femme is the highest thread-count of sheet you can buy. Femme hugs you fierce like the last friend you have left just when you need it most. Femme is smoke and mirrors. Femme is what happens when you stop trying for it. Femme slips through your fingers like grains of sand but leaves a fine layer of grit. Femme is consensual violence. Femme is the sudden rainstorm that ruins your hairstyle but turns it into something so much sexier. Femme is a cowgirl bursting into a honkytonk fists first. Femme is a Sunday dinner with all the trimmings. Femme is fresh air. Femme is clean, fresh air. Femme is breathing.

Femme feels like....

Write about what femme as a gender or expression feels like to you. This could be how it literally feels, or something more metaphorical...