Well, it’s about that time of the year. The time of the year when the year ends. 2008 has had its ups and downs, but above all it has been a year of great change. Political and socioeconomic change – do I even have to mention that whole first black U.S. President bit? – but also a time of personal change. 2008 marks the year I discovered and entered the world of kink and BDSM. It marks the year I really began to explore my gender identity and sexuality. I came out as a kinky switch. I came out as pansexual, finally settling on queer because it just seems to suit me so much better. (I don’t think I ever actually blogged about settling on queer. There’s another New Year’s resolution: blog more!) I came out as femme.

Now to me, that’s the biggie. I had been experimenting with my sexuality for quite some time. Probably since I was 12 and first realized I was attracted to more than just guys. But experimenting with my gender identity – now that’s something that never even occurred to me until I started reading the blogs of people far more enlightened than I. It never occurred to me, even though I grew up as a tomboy, no girly girl by any means, that I could be anything but what I have now learned is called cis-female. That was a huge revelation.

It is now a goal. My big goal for 2009, aside from not being such a half assed blogger, is to really delve deep into the caverns of my femme-ininity and map every niche, stalactite, stalagmite, trench and crevasse. To test the waters of the underground streams and rivers that have shaped me. And while I’m doing that, I’m going to celebrate it and play with it. What is the point of such a glorious thing as femme-ininity if a femme can’t enjoy it, am I right?

This new year is positively brimming with possibility. I for one am eager to seize it in both hands, wrap myself in it and let it carry me away into an eyes-wide-open life.

Oh, and did I mention it will also be my birthday? Happy 22^nd to me!

The world is a far less interesting place today after the loss of Bettie Page. The queen of pinup is someone who I think of as distinctly queerly femme. There was just something about the subversive quality of her work, and clearly I’m not alone in this because I can’t tell you the number of femmes I know who have borrowed aspects of her style/attitude/essence as they have created their own femme presentation.

Without a doubt the 85 year old Bettie who many years ago became a born again Christian was much less interesting to me than the woman she was in the 1950’s and yet I still morn her loss. Maybe it’s connected to my love of historical artifacts, but she is what made me fall in love with pinup, and she remains a femme icon. I remember when I was first introduced to Bettie, I was 18 and living with my first butch lover in Jacksonville Florida, I was not yet out as femme (confusing the hell out of him as he’d never been with * anyone * who wasn’t femme identified) and his room was covered in posters of her.  I remember being fascinated with her at the time, and then essentially forgetting her until all those years later when I came out as femme.

I was delighted when this week I received a letter in the mail from a dear femme friend written on pink-stripped Bettie Page stationary! She’s such an iconic image of femme to me, and though she may be gone from the earth, it’s clear to me that in the harts of so many femmes her memory will live on.

This morning after putting on one of my favorite shirts (it looks like a junk drawer was dumped on it) I realized I’d come up with the ideal metaphor for what ‘femme’ is to me. My femme is a junk drawer, it’s messy, and complicated, and filled with the loveliest treasures just waiting to be uncovered my femme is disorganized and constantly shifting, but paradoxically dependable.

By their nature junk drawers have everything you could ever want and more, they are the definition of flamboyant excess, and they are simply overflowing with treasure. My femme is keys with lost locks, crochet hooks, buttons, makeup, peppermints, and condoms.

Recently, I've started meeting more queer people who seem to "get" the concept of Femme.

And it's bloody nice, let me tell you.  I mean, some of the time, I feel a little silly or awkward; the other day, a transman offered to help me into my coat, and I kind of stared at him like "what am I supposed to do? OOOOH, my put my arm into the coat. Gotcha!"  But after the fact, I was thinking about how much I appreciated it.

Another circumstance was chatting with a cute Butch I met in New Mexico when I was at Pornotopia.  We were texting the other day, and she was saying that if she came to visit, she'd pamper me the way that a Femme deserved.  I asked her what that meant...I mean, what the hell DOES a Femme deserve? And what IS pampering?  Let's just say it involved getting the bloody hell fucked out of me, a lovely hot shower and massage, and breakfast.

I've struggled a lot with the concept of chivalry, and lately, have thought (and written) a bit about how I'm so much more ok with it in the queer community than I was before I came out.  And slowly, step by step, I'm realizing what a turn on it can be to have people to whom I'm attracted open doors, pull out my chairs, help me into my coat, etc.  No, I'm not high maintainence, but I am a Femme, and I love it.

And is there anything wrong with that?

-Essin' Em

Technorati Tags: butch, chivalry, Essin' Em, femme, gender, queer, realization, trans

Correct me if I'm wrong. I have compiled some of the ways that femme queers femininity for my Queer Theory term paper. I'm trying to think of some personal experiences that contributed to my development of a femme identity... Here are some of my answers to the question, "How does Femme Queer Femininity?"Femme is for Everybody: Answering the question, “How does femme queer femininity?”
Point 1: Femme queers femininity by expanding eligibility, making femininity an inclusive label, rather than an exclusive one.
Traditional femininity has been so strictly policed by society that only a choice few people have been given access to the character trait, “feminine.” People who are not female, people who are overweight, people who have unusual characteristics (like shortness) and dominant, aggressive women have been largely ineligible the traditional label of femininity. Femme, however, is for all people, regardless of sex, physical characteristics or personality styles. In my own life, specifically post-puberty, I had a hard time earning the label of femininity because of my shortness, my larger than average body size, and my general disinterest in boys.
Point 2: Femme queers femininity by involving participants in making and breaking rules of appearance, rather than abiding by previously established rules.
As with queerness, femmeness can be defined by its resistance to definitions. Feminine women have very strict rules defined by the times in which they live. Whether they choose to live by them is another story, but they may compromise their access to the label “feminine” (and the associated privileges) if they do not live by the rules. Femme (as a queer identity) encourages rule breaking! Femininity is mostly defined by the rules that society has provided for it, while femme is characterized by the people who call themselves by that name. If someone says they are a femme, then that is what a femme looks like, but this is not the case with mainstream femininity. Conversely, just because a person calls themselves feminine (in the traditional sense of the word) doesn’t mean that society will agree with them. I personally like acting out femininity, but I gave up on it for many years because I could never succeed as a feminine woman. Now that I understand femme as a transgressive, queer character, as femininity with a twist, I find it as the most appropriate label for the gender that I choose to express. I’m feminine, but I’m not what society thinks I am.
Point 3: Femme queers femininity in that the femme’s audience is defined by her, rather than by the mainstream culture.
A feminine woman without queer leanings may find that her audience is all men without her consent (since non-queer femininity by definition caters to the pleasure and comfort of men). On the other hand, a queer femme lesbian can reject men’s ideals for her femininity altogether, and choose to perform her gender for herself and for her other queer companions. Drag queens may actually have a formal audience for their drag performances, or their intended audience may be fellow drag queens. There is a wealth of audience options for actors of the femme role. As far as I am concerned, my audience right now is the butch and femme culture that I became part of when I was first coming out. At other times in my life, my audience has been my peers, or it has been authority figures. But I feel the best about my gender in the context of butch and femme.
Point 4: Femme queers femininity by being intentional rather than by being the default mode of operation for female-bodied people.
Femme takes into account the performativity of gender. It is not simply resigning oneself to femininity because one is female, rather femme is an intentional performance, where the actor takes the role of femininity for herself, rather than bothering to earn the rights to it. Even queer or lgbt women may do “femininity by default” – this is not femme, even though it is a gender style performed by queer identified people. Femme is queer when it is for fun!

I intend to take account of my gender development through seven periods of my life: 1. childhood; 2. pre- and early teens; 3. freshman/sophomore; 4. junior/senior/college freshman; 5. USF through 2005; 6. Missionary School (2006); 7. Leaving missions / coming out.

Theory

I would like to address the concepts of (1) Gender Accountability (the "rules" of gender expression) and (2) Gender Performativity (as in, gender is something you do, not something you are, necessarily). You know I said above that femme is defined by its resistance to definitions, but that may not be true, now that I think about it some more. Appearances are only very loosely defined by a feminine slant, although one could say that it is almost a feminine "drag," a caricature making fun of femininity. I actually think that personality is indeed defined by a number of character traits as follows. Femmes are (or tend to be) women who are bold, strong and independent, who do not take anyone's bullshit, who makes a path where there is none and appreciates diversity. Femme takes an activist role, she is an agent in her own destiny and she believes in the power of love, forgiveness, compassion and the care of others after the care of herself. Femme is also defined historically and presently by an association to queer butches and butchness).

That's all I have so far, and that's about 2.5 pages! The stories should hopefully fill up the other 7.5. Eek!

Technorati Tags: butch, butch/femme, coming into femme, definitions, feminine, femme, femme identity, gender, gender presentation, lesbian, queer, society

I imagine that some of you are still scrambling for last minute holiday gifts for some favorite femmes in your life, and/or you are looking for a special gift for yourself--- I wanted to let you know about this fantastic project! The Femme Coloring Book!  it was edited by Caitlin Sweet and includes the drawings of femmes from all over. Each drawing celebrates or explores the femme identity of the artist. For example, my page in the book deals with the paradoxes of femme identity for me- “femme is baking cupcakes while discussing queer theory. It’s loud makeup and big tattoos. It is a trashy, sexy, and smart queer perversion of femininity!

The coloring book includes the perspectives of 47 different femmes including well known femmes like Michelle Tea, and Nomy Lamm. Publishing of the coloring book was made possible two San Francisco donations, and all proceeds from the book are donated to Fancyland - a queer land in California.
Bellow is my review that I posted over at The Femme Show when I first received the coloring book  over the summer:

“Last night when the books arrived I sat down on my couch and was mesmerized by every page, each was so different and really reflected the diversity of our femme community. This was a new and exciting format to witness the creativeness of femmes, both those who consider themselves visual artists and those who don’t. So often I see ‘femme’ reduced to simplistic definitions, or analysis but the coloring book really shatters those assumptions. There are paint by number’s about consensual domination, including “4. hanky code color of your choosing!” Cilo Reese Sady to a contribution by The Machine about a femme sewing an outfit, half dressed and saying “I’ll be ready in a minute.” I saw aspects of my own femme identity in so many of these pages. Reading this book felt like going to an excellent slumber party, staying awake all night painting our nails and whispering! Even though I knew less than a handful of the other contributors, after looking at the book I feel like we are all friends, and I’m ready to pull out the crayons! “

I’ve been selling copies of it for Caitlin initially just here in NYC but after that I’ve been sending them all over the country, and to Canada! If you want to buy one, they are $5-10 sliding scale. I don’t do paypall - you need to send me concealed cash or a check and I’ll send on out to you! I only have 10 left --- these are the FINAL 10 in the first printing. Caitlin may do a second run at some point but I’m not sure when that will be. If you want to buy a copy email me at Sassafras@pomofreakshow.com letting me know that you want one, I’ll create a list (and waiting list incase anyone flakes) and give you my address. These make the best gifts for any femme, and anyone who loves femmes!

Rope bondage as always interested me in some way or another, and I figure, what better way to get started learning about it than by reading The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by one of the best known figures in the kink community, Midori. Plus, I really love books - am a total bibliphile.

My absolute favorite thing about this book is that is more than just the same old "how to" type of book. Rather, it talks a lot about the beauty and history of Japanese Rope Bondage. It also gives a lot information on pretty much everything; choosing rope (type, material, length), cleaning and taking care of your rope, safety, how to prepare a scene, running a scene, after care (and can I just say that having a straw for water of the list of items you might want to have was loving, adorable and brilliant).

Then we get to the actual rope designs part of the book. Each individual rope bondage has a name, a beautiful color picture, some information about the position (what you need, what it's good for, etc), a little snippet of erotica, and then of course, step by step instructions, with some pictures. Easy as pie, right?

Well, I was a little confused about some of the instructions, and there is only a picture for every third instruction or so. Now, my primary partner has been out of town, so I haven't been able to find anyone to tie up (or to read the book and tie me up). Maybe it is easier when you're doing it on a person and not a body pillow (hey, at least I was giving it a good go, right?). I'll give an update once we're actually tried it out with living, breathing (and ouch-saying) people.

I will say that while this book only has a few different types of ties, this is a brilliant and perfect book for ropes beginners like myself. After reading it, I felt much more ready to give rope bondage a try. Great instructions, BEAUTIFUL full color pictures, and a strong background, both in the history and the safety of rope bondage. 5 stars -- highly recommended.

Head over to SexToy.com for your very own copy of The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage or for some sexy sex toys of your own.

-Essin' Em

Technorati Tags: book, book review, Essin' Em, japanese bondage, midori, review

The incredibly sexy and absolutely awesome NoFauxxx.Com is having a Holiday Photo Contest! You can win some delicious queer porn, and who doesn't want that? Anything from NoFauxxx is hot, sexy, and delicious. I have a review coming soon of them as well!

Win a Free Year-Long Membership to NoFauxxx.Com for you and a friend!

Holiday Photo Contest Info from Trouble:

We want to give you, and one of your friends, one of the best holiday gifts you can get - free queer porn! All you have to do is send us a photograph that shows your definition of "QUEER." We will judge the photo on artistic quality and content readability - and we will post all of the entries in a special gallery on NoFauxxx.Com!
Here are the rules.

1. YOU MUST BE 18 OR OLDER TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS CONTEST. Please include a photo of you holding up your ID (with date of birth clearly readable) along with your photo submission.

2. Photo can be of anything, but it has to include YOU and a symbol of your definition of "queer." You do *not* have to be naked, however you are also free to be as naked as you like, and doing anything you like in the photo just as long as it is legal!

3. Please use your own ideas, we're looking for something unique and one of a kind! We are looking for photos that have emotional content - we want to look at the photo and say, "Oh! This is what 'queer' means to this person!"

4. Please fill out the additional questions on the form, such as how you took the photo, what gave you the idea, and what your definition of "queer" is.

Models, members, and fans are all eligible to win. Photos must be self-shot or self-directed, and taken specifically for this contest. Photos from a professional photo set probably wont win this one!

If you are ready to enter this contest, please fill out the submission form now!

Submission Form
Contest Home Page

Good Luck!

xo Trouble

Technorati Tags: art, contests, Holiday, home, porn, queer

A butch friend of mine called the other night in a panic over holiday gifts for her wife. She told me that she already had the main gift, but was stuck on what to get for the smaller things. Her wife, a good friend of mine, is very femme, very girly, very prissy, and is generally pleased by all things feminine. . . So, honestly, I was a bit surprised by the call and the panic; I can think of a million things to get femme wife.

I asked my friend what the main gift was, thinking maybe the smaller gifts could relate and be thematic. She told me: “Well, she’s been needing a good coat, and she mentioned that to me, so I got her a North Face (sp?) parka.” Now, I personally, would be disappointed in a gift like that because I am not outdoorsy, and I generally don’t like anything I wear to look like I might be. . But, maybe my femme friend has specifically asked for that, so I didn’t comment. Because, you know, wanting to keep your loved one warm. . . That is actually a very thoughtful gift. Then, my butch friend went on to list the remaining items she had bought for her wife:

- cotton underwear (because as she said “she seems to need new underpants all the time.”)

- a bottle of lotion (“I saw some lotion she used to wear and I got that.”)

She continued that she was thinking about some gloves of the outdoorsy variety, but was stuck on anything else. I had to restrain the giggling. My femme bud, her wife, isn’t terribly outdoorsy, and she loves silly little nothings. I mean, was she going to get her a vacuum too? While the gifts are all items that my femme friend might need, they aren’t necessarily items that she may want as a gift. To me, holiday gift-giving is a time to get small items for people that are silly and frivolous. It is a time to get things that you ordinarily wouldn’t purchase for yourself. And, while the gifts she listed are thoughtful, I think my femme friend can keep on top of her panties all by herself, don’t you?

So, I suggested to my butch friend that maybe she could buy her some inexpensive jewelry. Her wife loves peace symbols, and since this is the 50 year anniversary of the peace symbol it is on jewelry everywhere. For a small amount of money she could buy something for her wife that she would really be excited about. I continued that if she knew of a perfume that her wife really liked she could get that. And, remembering that her wife loves Lush products, I suggested she pick up some of those but reminded her that a lot of the products have expiration dates and to double check that the item would still be good for awhile.

My butch friend liked all of these ideas, but she didn’t really seem too thrilled about any of them. And, you know, we all really do want to be excited about the things we give our loved ones. Remembering that my butch friend really knows her way around a kitchen, I suggested she make her wife some bath products. This sort of startled her, but I went on “You are a very good cook. You could easily whip up some bath salts, salt scrubs, or sugar scrubs! You could make the presentation really cutesy; your wife would love that. She would love knowing you spent the time to make something for her.” She got really excited about this, and I quickly sent her my recipes for these items.

Last night, I got a text from her detailing all the different stores she had to go to, what items she purchased, and how excited she was to make the salt scrub for her wife. She was so thrilled that she plans on making a smaller batch for their young (and absolutely adorable) daughter too. While she had originally planned on giving these items as holiday gifts, she has decided to just give them to her wife this week as a “Just Because” sweet nothing (as a side note I’ve made up a word for sweet nothing gifts called “cercees”). Her excitement made me grin. I am so glad that I was able to offer some help. And, as my butch friend said: “This is going to win me lots of wifey points!”

I think sometimes with gift-giving and thoughtfulness we have to play to our strong suits. I’m a crafty lady, so I try to always make my gifts somewhat craft oriented. That way, I know I’m going to give the most thoughtful gift I can, because it is in an area I understand. This doesn’t mean that I am going to always give someone craft supplies, or even something I made. Sometimes the crafting is only the wrapping, but nonetheless I am still playing to my strong suits. My friend was able to use her excellent cooking skills to make something super girly and something super sweet and personal for her wife.

And, doesn’t her sweetness just make your teeth ache?

So I know I promised to give the needle-book tutorial next, but I thought that everyone might appreciate these super easy to make, and inexpensive recipes. They make great gifts for co-workers, friends, and sweeties.

Basic Sugar Scrub
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
10-20 drops of your choice of essential oil (or more to suit your preference)
mix and store in a jar.

Basic Salt Scrub
1 cup Epsom salt
2/3 cup carrier oil
20 drops your choice of essential oil (peppermint is cute for the holidays, and you can present it with a candy cane)

mix and store in a jar.

Basic Bath Salts

1 cup Epsom salt

2-3 Tblsp baking powder (this is supposed to counteract the effects of the x-rays we are exposed to daily)

10-20 drops of your choice of essential oil (or more to suit your preference)

mix and present in a jar

Lavender Salt Scrub (my favorite)
1/2 cup Epsom salt
1/3 cup carrier oil
1 Tblsp dried lavender blossoms (you can get these at cost-plus world market for $1.00)
8 drops of lavender oil (or more to suit your preference)

* you can add two capsules of vitamin E to any of your scrubs for an added bit of luxe.

There are lots of carrier oils; these oils do not evaporate, and they help spread your essential oil throughout your scrub. However, the essential oil will still spread for your bath salts, just be sure to cover quickly to prevent all of the oil from evaporating and thus losing most of your aroma. I prefer grape seed oil because it is relatively inexpensive, spreads well, and doesn’t have a strong scent of its own. Usually, I stay away from nut oils, since so many people have nut allergies. Below is a list of carrier oils:

- sweet almond oil

- grape seed oil

- avocado oil

- sesame oil (very pungent so watch out!)

- primrose oil

- sunflower oil (very inexpensive at the grocery store)

- jojoba oil

- walnut oil

- peanut oil (very pungent)

- pecan oil

- coconut oil

- extra virgin olive oil (can also have a strong smell depending)

Essential oils are the oils that will carry your scent. These can vary in cost according to the oil. For instance, rose oil tends to be more expensive than lavender oil. Essential oils can also greatly vary in cost according to where they are purchased. They are usually the least expensive at a grocery store (like Whole Foods), and are more expensive at a cosmetics store. Basically, just double check to make sure the essential oil you purchase isn’t already cut with a carrier oil (because then you are buying an already diluted product, and you will be diluting the oil in the recipe), and you will be set.

Finally, finish off your product by putting it in a jar and cute-i-fying it. While I typically tend to use glass jars for homemade products, I really encourage you to find plastic. That way, your product is more bathroom and tub friendly. After all broken glass in the bathtub equals no fun at all. I found the jars I used at my local grocery store. They are the Ball canning brand. The jars are made for freezing fruits and the like. They have brightly colored lids, and the lids not only snap shut but also screw tight too. I like that when I give these as gifts I won’t have to worry about spillage. You can make cute labels by hand or by computer (I’m a hand kind of lady), and be sure to include a list of ingredients. That way, not only can you show people how amazingly non-chemical your product is, you also don’t have to worry about aggravating someone’s allergies. These don’t have to be printed on the label (like mine); you could include a little card that is tied to the jar. I covered the labels on my jars with clear contact paper to make them even more bathroom-friendly, and somewhat water resistant. However, I’m not too impressed with the contact paper, and I think next time I will probably laminate the labels before adhering them to the jars. Of course, all of this is very much up to you, and very much optional.

I strongly encourage you to decorate your jars before you add your product. Once the product is inside, it can be trickier to manipulate the jar in the way you like!

Give and Enjoy!

Technorati Tags: beauty products, Craft, gifts, how-to, Ms. Hinterland, recipe

Much by accident I just came across this quote:

Marilyn was revered as a tigress, but she was loved (and pitied) as a kitten. In that sense her sexuality did not present a challenge; vulnerability made her manageable--it guaranteed her femininity.

The threat of other lustful man-killers is diminished by intimations of their androgyny. Mae West looked all girl but her style was decidedly butch. "It's [men's] game," she says with trademark smarminess of her multiple, casual seductions in She Done Him Wrong. "I happen to be smart enough to play it their way." Marlene Dietrich in tux and top hat is also both hyperfeminine and faux homme, a man in drag in drag. -My Enemy, My Love By Judith Levine p. 92

It goes on to talk about the book's real point in bringing this up: the antipode to the Seducer or femme fatale, The Slave. But, that's not really what intrigued me about it. I especially love this line: Mae West looked all girl but her style was decidedly butch. It is an angle I hadn't really contemplated before, but basically Mae West as femme. It's pretty damn obvious now that I'm thinking about it, but it just wasn't a connection I'd made before. Though she wasn't queer in the sense of sleeping with women, but she did have an affinity toward gay men and wrote The Drag.

Mae West

The two ways used to describe Mae West and Marlene Dietrich are both incredibly queer, while Marilyn Monroe is more of an archetype for traditional femininity. Mae West was femme in look, butch in action, or simply a description of a type of queer femininity, or simply femmeininity. Marlene Dietrich was a man in drag in drag, a queer masculinity on a female body so that it is not the same as masculine because it is also overtly feminine.

Of course, this has the threat of falling into the trap of femme = weak and butch = strong, or femme = passive and butch = active/aggressor, but that's not what I'm taking it to mean. While the original writer may have had those gender stereotypical ideas in mind, though I don't know because I haven't talked to her, I don't believe that saying Mae West is femme in look butch in action is necessarily falling into the same gender stereotypes any more than us calling ourselves butch or femme does.

Mae was a lover of elegant dresses, furs, jewels, nearly anything extravagant. While many femmes can be and are strong, straightforward, and aggressive there is a difference between a strong femininity and a strong masculinity though they can look quite the same, otherwise we wouldn't use terms to differentiate them, and that is what I'm taking the phrase to mean. I see her as a drag queen, or a faux queen, a term I have found for female drag queens, putting on her extravagance for all the world to see in a very masculine manner.

Marlene Dietrich

Similarly with Marlene Dietrich, there is a big difference between a faux homme, as termed by the author of the quote, and a butch. I take it to be an element of faggetry within it, that extra addition of femininity to the butch that may make you do a double-take. It makes me think of Emmit in Queer as Folk (Onyx and I are watching through the series--now on Season 5!), a queer masculinity that, while masculine, has a touch of the feminine within it as well, though that isn't a perfect representation, but he could also be termed "a man in drag in drag."

On a more personal note, I found myself identifying with both the statements. These are, of course, only two of an infinite number of queer genders in the gender galaxy, but are especially interesting to me because I identify with them.

Most of the time I'm in femme drag, I look all femme but my style is decidedly butch. Yet I also absolutely love to get into boi/butch drag on occasion as well, but when I do it it's never to pass, it's always to pass as queer, a fagette rather than a man. Hence hyperfeminine and faux homme, a man in drag in drag. I absolutely love it.

Lately I have been struggling with the different genders within me, my femme drag queen and boi fagette sides as I affectionately call them, though there are more gendered sides than that, but those are the easiest to categorize (but not box in). I was amazed when I found the quote above since it clicked with me so perfectly. I embrace those exact styles up above: a drag queen femmeininity which is more butch in style but femme in look, and a faggette butchness which is very faux homme.

-Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek

Technorati Tags: Boi, butch, faux homme, faux queen, femme, Femme Fatale, gender, gender galaxy, identities, Mae West, Marlene Dietrich, queer